To the Would-Be Christian Author

I like books. I have boxes and shelves of them, some of which I've read, some I would like to read, and some I have no intention to read any time soon but feel guilty getting rid of without having read. I've read my share of Christian nonfiction, and as I finally tossed some of it into a box for the goodwill this weekend, it seems appropriate to challenge all of those aspiring authors out there to keep providing us with mediocre self-help literature we're embarrassed to have taken the time to read.

So, write your self-help book, your marriage book, your here's-how-to-be-better-Christian manual. Give us all your new and improved version on Western Christianity. Take that 3-point outline that you came up with and cram a verse or two into the more obvious points every so often for credibility with theologians and gospel bookstores. Please let us all know why our marriages are bad, our children are average, and our times with God are boring, and give us the missing piece we've been waiting for. Better yet, make a cute little diagram with clip art, give it a ridiculous aliterated title, and continue to refer to it in capital letters at least once or twice on every page and each question in the workbook. Please. We're all waiting with bated breath. And our couples group meets tonight at 6 and the brownies are almost done...